


Falling

by meemowthefirephoenix



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Hurt Matthew Casey, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:12:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meemowthefirephoenix/pseuds/meemowthefirephoenix
Summary: When one member of Firehouse 51 suffers an injury, the firefighters and paramedics find out who has it easier; the one who fell, or the ones left to fall apart.
Relationships: Matthew Casey & Kelly Severide, Sylvie Brett & Matthew Casey, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 113
Kudos: 191





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! :) I am new to fanfiction writing and would appreciate if you stopped by at the end in the comments and gave me some feedback! This is the first piece of writing I've ever put out there... so here goes!!
> 
> Some other characters appear in the story that aren't mentioned in the tags because they only appear for a line or none at all.
> 
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day! :)

The bells went off just as the members of House 51 sat down to eat lunch, prepared by a struggling Gallo and Ritter.

All units were called to a fully involved three-story house fire, causing an excited buzz among the firefighters.

“It’s rolling!” Stella Kidd calls from the driver’s seat of Truck 81. Gallo shifts around in his backward facing seat to see the blaze flickering out of every window.

“Longer this takes the better! Maybe the food will be hopelessly cold by the time we get back, we won’t have to eat it!” Kidd says.

“Hey!” shouts Gallo.

\---

Captain Casey pulls the brim of his helmet down while climbing out of the truck. Checking his surroundings, he watches the Squad 3 rig pull up to the house. Severide gets out and nods to him. “What’re we lookin’ at?” he says and stops to Casey’s right.

“Boden’s almost here, but what I’m thinking is my guys get the first floor, and yours take the second? We’ll work our way up to the third?”

“I like it, let’s go,” Severide responds before turning around to give orders to his men. One particularly distracted Squad member pulls his oxygen tank on and looks up to see his teammates on the move.

“Cruz! Let’s move, what are you waiting for?” his lieutenant calls. He quickly yanks his SCBA over his head and pulls his helmet on while running inside.

\---

Meanwhile Casey and his team make their way in after a scrambling Cruz.

“Gallo, with me. Kidd, Mouch, take the back,” Casey shouts over the roaring heat. He looks behind him to see the lieutenant of Engine 51. “Herrmann, get some water on these flames.”

“On it,” replies the older man.

Casey watches as Capp and Tony bring a large man down the first flight of stairs. The crackling of his radio catches his attention. “This is Severide to all companies, Cruz has got ears on someone upstairs. I got a victim on the second floor, Bravo-Charlie corner and need some assistance. Structure is weak up here, be careful.”

Casey turns to Gallo, who nods and says, “front rooms are clear, Captain. I’ll go find Mouch and Kidd. You go.” Casey nods his thanks and heads up the stairs. “This is Casey to Severide, on my way.” The stairs creak under his boots and Casey has a feeling of uneasiness. He reaches the top and scans the area for his brother.

\---

Severide pulls the collar of the unconscious woman towards the door of the bedroom, with a toddler in his left arm. The little girl screams for her mom and Kelly does everything he can to keep her calm, but his heart aches listening to her cries. “Dammit, Casey, where are you?” he mutters. With such low visibility, the Captain was only a few steps from the door so he was nearer than Severide thought. The shape of his brother comes into view and Severide breathes a sigh of relief.

“Casey, grab the kid,” Severide calls out.

“Sev, she doesn’t look too good,” Casey says, confusing Kelly for the moment.

“The kid’s fine, take her!” Severide says, getting annoyed as the building could collapse at any moment and they needed to get out.

Casey moves around Severide and takes his glove off. He reaches for the woman’s neck and waits. After a few seconds he puts his glove back on and shakes his head.

“Damn,” Severide says and looks down at the crying face of the girl.

“Take her, I’ll go find Cruz,” Casey says, noticing the attachment Severide was showing for the toddler. Severide nods and makes his way to the stairs.

Finally reaching fresh air, Kelly attempts to hand the girl to Brett, but the tiny hand of the child grips his turnout coat. Brett smiles sadly and asks Kelly to move with them to the ambulance. He reluctantly agrees, knowing that Cruz and the members of Truck 81 are still inside the unstable structure.

\---

Casey reaches the third floor with a notice from Chief Boden to evacuate the building. A response from his team over the radio reassures him that the first floor is clear and they are making their way outside. Casey calls for the former truck member but hears nothing in return. With the visibility only slightly above zero, he moves only a couple steps forward and finds the figure of the silent firefighter.

“Cruz, we have to move,” Casey yells, “now!”

Cruz stays silent, his head bows slightly.

“Cruz, what’s the problem? We don’t have time for this,” Casey says as he looks around the back of the firefighter to see the body of a child, no older than six. His lifeless form is burnt and soot covered; the child is nearly unrecognizable as a little boy. Casey drops his gaze to the floor. He puts his hand on Cruz’s shoulder and begins to speak but is silenced by the aggressive shove of his hands into Casey’s chest.

“Get off of me!” Cruz shouts. Shocked, Casey began to panic, knowing the stairs are closely behind him, but he can’t see a thing through the smoke.

“Cruz!” Casey shouts, flailing and trying to grab at anything he can; an arm, Cruz’s coat, the railing, before feeling himself fall backwards.

Casey knew what falling through stories of a building was like; he had fallen through several with Herrmann years before, but hadn’t taken the brunt of the materials they crashed through. He tried to prepare himself for the hard fall at the bottom, but he didn’t have time. He fought to keep his eyes open, reach for anything that could stop him, but he felt like he had no control. He felt his mask get caught on something and be yanked off his face, bringing his helmet with it. He didn't have time to protect his head before hitting the bottom. He didn't have time to reach out and grab something. He didn’t have time to figure out the best way to hit the floor. Before he knew it, time stopped. 

And so did everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I'd love some feedback so leaving comments would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> Thanks! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The members of House 51 begin to deal with the aftermath of a dangerous call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! :) Thank you for sticking with me going into chapter two! I'm really excited to get this fic out there so I decided to update it a little quicker than I originally planned.
> 
> In this chapter, we get another perspective added to the mix.
> 
> Oh, and there are some season eight spoilers so watch out if you haven't seen all the episodes!
> 
> Happy reading, and have a wonderful day!

Cruz stands looking down three flights of broken stairs. The smoke alters his view of the damage the body of Casey has caused. He stares blankly into the hole. He hears the worried voice of Lieutenant Hermann over his radio, who had recently left the house. The voices on his radio are background noise. The only thing Cruz can hear is his own thoughts. His thoughts of guilt boiling up inside of him. He steps back and leans against the wall. Shaking, he slides down the drywall until he’s seated with his knees to his chest. He promises himself he couldn’t see the stairs. He swears he never meant to hurt him. Cruz leans his helmet against the wall and allows tears to fall and collect in the bottom of his mask. He’s shaking and he can’t control it. Leaned against the wall next to him is the boy. He looks over and his sobs come harder in his chest. He tries to convince himself that it wasn’t his fault; coming up with any excuse as to why he shoved his captain away… and through three flights of stairs. The more reasons he comes up with, the more guilty he feels.

\---

Severide sits on the edge of the back of the ambulance with the little girl. Her father has recently come to and is distraught over the loss of his wife and his missing son. Foster, Capp, and Tony do their best to calm him down while his daughter watches. She’s frozen, and Severide is trying to do anything to snap her out of it.

Kelly is in the middle of talking to the girl when he hears a crash inside the house. Knowing only Cruz and Casey are inside, he pulls away from the tiny fingers of the girl and runs towards the front door. Before he can get past the gate, Boden grabs the fabric of his coat by the shoulder.

“Severide! No one is going inside!” He shouts while struggling to keep Severide in his grasp.

“Let me go!” Kelly pushes and pushes but Boden won’t give. The two stop wrestling to listen to Hermann over the radio, who is standing in the door frame. “Structural collapse, all the stairs are gone. Visibility’s so low I can’t see a darn thing,” Herrmann says. He walks out towards the members of his Engine, and checks on everybody before going to the gate to find Boden with his arms pinning Severide to his chest, who proceeds to fight back.

Herrmann studies the scene before looking up at Boden. “Chief, I gotta get closer, the smokes too thick. At least send someone in, there could be one of our own under there.” Herrmann’s eyes go to Severide and back to Boden, as if to say, “just let him go in”.

Boden releases his hold on Severide’s entire body, but grabs his arm before looking him in the eyes. “Kelly, you come back out here if it gets dangerous, you hear me? Tell me exactly what’s going on. Now go,” he says, and lets go of Severide’s arm.

“Thank you, Chief,” Severide says, and nods to Herrmann before running inside while simultaneously throwing his mask on.

\---

Casey wakes to a bright, white light, with silhouettes of three figures. He notices Darden first, then sees Shay. Last, his eyes bring him to Otis. He calls out to them, but no one answers. They don’t move. He repeatedly calls for them to turn around, but no one turns. The three of his deceased friends slip away into the light, but Casey reaches out for them. “Don’t leave me…” he calls. He feels someone gripping his hand, but when he grips it back, the light is replaced with smoky air.

“I’m not gonna leave you, bud, I’m right here,” Casey hears. He tries to make sense of the voice, as he’s incredibly disoriented. His eyelids are so heavy, he can’t bear the thought of opening them.

“Casey, can you hear me?” the voice says. He hears words but his brain can’t make sense of them. He wants to sleep, everything around him is too much. The voice continues to talk to him, but he loses track of the words. He realizes his head hurts like hell. His stomach hurts. His leg hurts. His back hurts. Everything hurts. The pain hits him like a tidal wave. He lets out a groan to ease the hurt, but it only brings the voice closer, making his head pound from the noise.

“Casey? Casey!” He hears a familiar voice… but who does it belong to?

“Casey, wake up buddy, come on!” His brain works to realize the voice is coming from his brother.

“Sev…” he groans.

“Casey!” Severide calls. “He’s awake, responsive, but looks and sounds like crap,” he says into his radio. “Bring me a hose line, it’s getting hot in here!”

Casey feels a little spray of water and it feels good. His skin burns from the heat of the flames whipping at him from the debris.

“Talk to me, Case, what’s going on?” he hears.

“Tired…” he says. He has no energy to keep his mind going.

“I need you to stay awake, alright? Just do that for me,” Severide replies.

Casey tries to keep his thoughts circling in his head, but the thought of escaping everything is more tempting. He allows himself to rest for just one minute, but finds himself drifting away from the chaos. Soon enough, Casey escapes the bright lights, the piercing noise of his PASS alarm, and the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I really appreciate all the feedback and praise for this piece, it's keeping me going!
> 
> Criticism is as welcome as compliments so tell me what you think!
> 
> Also, I know we haven't gotten much of Brett yet, but I promise she is in the next chapter!
> 
> Thanks again!! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one who fell is having an easier time keeping it together than the ones who witnessed it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :)
> 
> Here's chapter three, it's a bit longer than the previous two, and as promised, Brett makes a bigger appearance.
> 
> I'm loving the feedback so keep it coming! :)
> 
> Thanks and happy reading!

Brett paces nervously with the little girl in her arms. Mindlessly, she hums and soothes the child while she lets her mind go frantic. Casey has been there for her through a tough couple of years, with her best friend leaving, then her biological mom passing. Her heart sank when she heard the collapse, knowing he was one of two left inside, her good friend Cruz being the other. She could barely keep it together when Severide announced Casey was piled under debris, and barely conscious.

“Chief, Casey’s in and out of consciousness, he isn't looking too good. Lacerations and contusions to his face, and that’s all I can see right now. He’s buried pretty good.”

Brett turns to see Boden sigh and grip his radio. “Hang tight, Severide. I’m coming.” To the firehouse’s surprise, their chief was putting on his mask and ordering Squad 3 back inside. 

It was obvious Boden had a soft spot for Casey, and saw him like a son. Six years prior, their chief had run in to find Casey trapped under a beam, and only three years prior, Boden had entered a factory searching for an unmasked and unconscious Casey. So maybe the members of Firehouse 51 weren’t that surprised.

\---

Severide grips the collar of his fallen comrade. “Casey,” he says quietly, while watching his friend slipping away.

Boden’s voice echoes through the front room as he enters and comes up behind the lieutenant. Severide is thankful he can’t see his face, as tears are forming in the corners of his eyes.

“Kelly,” Boden says, attempting to calm his man. He puts a hand on Severide’s shoulder and tugs a little so he would face him. Severide’s gaze is glued on Casey, who is struggling to breathe without his mask on. He instinctively pulls off his helmet and reaches for his mask before Boden stops him. “Kelly, where's Cruz?” he asks.

Startled, Severide turns to face Boden, and his chief’s expression softens when he sees the tears. “I don’t know,” he whispers.

Realizing that the lieutenant was in no condition to radio his missing man, Boden pushes the button on his radio. “Cruz! Cruz, report!” The two men wait for a response. They hear nothing in return. “Where was he before the collapse?” Boden asks Kelly.

“Third floor, Alpha-Delta corner, I think,” he replies, nearly inaudibly.

“Mouch, I need the aerial positioned to the third floor, Alpha-Delta corner window. We need eyes on Cruz,” Boden orders.

“Got it, Chief,” Severide hears over the radio. He turns to find Capp and Tony pulling broken pieces of wooden stairs off the pile, some flickering with lingering flames. Digging through debris, the four men find a large beam across Casey’s abdomen. Severide instinctively reaches for the end of the beam to pull it off, but is commanded to stop. Boden analyzes his fallen captain. After finding most of the flames doused by Engine 51, he calls for his paramedics. 

“Brett, Foster! Gear up, we need you in here now!” he yells into the radio.

“Chief, what is it?” Severide asks.

“That beam is the only thing keeping him alive. It looks like Crush Syndrome, Kelly.”

\---

Cruz listens to the frantic firefighters through his radio. Every sentence makes his heart heavier and heavier. He heard their calls for him. He knows they’re looking for him. But he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be found.

Just as he’s preparing himself for the end, he hears the shifting of the aerial. Boots clang against the metal. He looks at his oxygen gauge, and silently hopes the little oxygen he has left will run out before anyone comes to get him.

“Cruz! Call out!” he hears Mouch call from outside the window. Through thick smoke, Cruz watches steel-toed boots hit the floor. The rest of Mouch comes through the window.

“Cruz, we gotta move!” he calls. In return, Cruz stays quiet. Mouch waits.

“I can’t,” Cruz finally says through tears.

“What do you mean? Are you hurt?” Mouch asks, going over to sit next to Cruz.

“No,” he responds. Mouch knows that Cruz wears his heart on his sleeve so he only had to be patient and his friend would open up.

“Mouch, I did this,” he cries. Taken aback, Mouch looks at him.

“Cruz, how did you do this?” he asks.

“I-I didn’t mean to,” he starts, “there was the boy, and… and before that, I’ve been so stressed lately, it was an accident, I promise!”

“I’m not following…” Mouch says, to get more out of him.

“I was just startled, when he came up behind me, he put his hand on my shoulder, and I didn’t think at all,” he says through sobs. Mouch waits again.

“I pushed him, Mouch! I did this to him!”

Cruz waits for Mouch to leave him there, or yell at him, or do something to punish him, rightfully so, but Mouch only grabs Cruz by the arm and says, “Joe, let’s just get out of here first, we can talk about this later.”

“Okay,” Cruz cries.

\---

Casey starts to come to again, this time more lucid. The more lucid, the more he notices the pain, which is almost unbearable at this point.  
He lets out an agonized scream which highly alerts the people around him, as Casey is not very quick to let others know when he’s hurting.

“Casey, bud, how’re you feeling?” asks Severide.

“I can’t breathe,” he gasps. Casey feels his throat tighten with the oncoming panic.

“Casey,” Boden’s deep voice booms, “you need to stay calm, the paramedics are coming any second.”

He peels his eyes open to see Boden, Severide, Capp, Tony, and Herrmann standing over him. Their flashlights hurt his head.

“What’s happening?” his voice comes out raspy and quiet.

With Severide a mess, and Boden ordering his paramedics to move faster, Herrmann answers Casey, “You were the wrecking ball in a three-storey collapse through the stairwell. You have a beam across your abdomen likely causing you to experience Crush Syndrome, so we can’t move it just yet. Hang in there, Casey, alright?”

“Mm…” Casey responds.

\---

Brett and Foster rush through the front door in full turnout gear with the kit in hand. Severide watches as they run to Casey and immediately begin working.

“What- uh… what’s happening?” Kelly asks frantically.

“We’re putting him on oxygen and starting two lines. With Crush Syndrome, he’s gonna need a lot of meds,” Foster says.

Severide watches his friend’s chest rise and fall with a great amount of struggle each time. Brett has an IV in his right hand, and Foster puts a line in his left.

“Push twenty-four milligrams of Ketamine,” Brett orders.

“Twenty-four, Brett? That’s like the most you can-”

“Push it, Foster!” Brett shouts, which stills the room, as Sylvie is usually the last person to raise her voice.

“Pushing Ketamine,” Foster responds.

Brett hands Severide a bag of IV fluids she has running through his right hand catheter.

“Hanging saline drip,” she announces. “Here, Kelly, hold this for me.”

“Yeah,” he says, and takes the bag.

“Casey, how are you doing, pain wise?” Foster asks.

“I’m okay,” he mutters. “I’m okay…”

“Don’t lie to me, you aren’t fooling anybody,” she says.

Casey catches his breath before speaking, which is taking a good amount of energy. “Hurts… everything hurts.”

“I know, okay, we’re giving you some Ketamine, which should work for a little bit, but it doesn’t last long, so tell me when it gets worse okay?”

“Mmhm…”

“Casey, are you cold?” Brett asks from his right.

“Frozen…” he mumbles.

“Capp, get the blankets from the ambo, I think he’s hypothermic,” she says.

“Copy that,” Capp says and hurries out the door. Severide watches the fuss around him, barely thinking straight. His eyes dart back and forth from his brother to Boden, who eyes him sympathetically.

“It’s alright, Kelly,” he says. “Brett and Foster will get him out of here in no time.”

Kelly looks back at Casey. He’s barely conscious again, which makes Kelly’s stomach churn. 

How could this have happened? How could he be so clumsy? Kelly thought. Casey was supposed to be the more careful of the two. He couldn’t wait until Casey was healed so he could scold him about giving him such a scare.

Kelly is snapped out of his head when he hears scrambling among the paramedics.

“He’s in V-fib!” Brett calls.

“We need this beam off him now!” Foster says.

“Alright, get it off of him!” Boden yells. Tony, Herrmann, Boden and Severide heave the heavy wood off of Casey’s abdomen. Brett and Foster pull Casey off the pile of debris and lay him down on the linoleum floor.

“Starting compressions, charge to two hundred!” Brett orders.

“Charging, clear!” Foster shouts.

“Clear!” Brett responds, and moves back with her hands up by her helmet.

Severide watches as Casey’s body jerks off the floor and lands limp.

“Sinus rhythm, we got him,” Foster says.

The room of firefighters breathes a collective sigh of relief. Boden puts his hand on Kelly’s shoulder.

“We gotta move right now,” Brett says, with tears escaping her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed chapter three, if so, (or if not, that's okay too!), let me know!
> 
> Chapter four should be coming out tomorrow so not too much of a wait for that one! :)
> 
> Thank you so much for continuing to read, it means a lot to me!
> 
> Have a wonderful day! Until next time ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey is rushed to Med, leaving his firehouse family holding their breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! :) Here's a short chapter for you, packed with as much plot as the rest!
> 
> Because it is shorter than the last few, I will be posting the next chapter very soon!
> 
> I hope you enjoy today's part, thanks for reading!!
> 
> Have a wonderful day! <3

Mouch and Cruz make their way down the aerial as Casey is wheeled out of the front door on a gurney. Two ambulances pull out with half of the family that lived in the ruined house. Cruz watches the scene from halfway up the ladder, frozen.

“Cruz,” Mouch calls from further down. Casey’s face is stained with blood, multiple IV bags follow him in the hands of his team. Cruz’s lieutenant looks distraught, his eyes darting around, tear filled and dilated, and his demeanor shaky. Cruz’s roommate Brett, seems to be having a difficult time keeping it together as well. They rush Casey into the back of 61, and quickly load up with Severide in the back. Boden hurries to his buggy, and the rest of 51 stares at the flashing lights of the ambulance and battalion car as they speed down the road.

Mouch keeps his eyes trained on Cruz. “Come on, Cruz, let’s load up and meet them at Med, alright?”

Cruz slowly moves down the rungs of the latter, as the firefighters notice him for the first time since the collapse.

“Cruz!” Stella Kidd is the first to say anything. “You alright?”

The members of Engine, Truck, and Squad gather at the base of the aerial. When he reaches the bottom, he gets pats on the back and hugs. He wants nothing more than to be hated right now. Maybe then would he feel like he’s getting what he deserves.

\---

Severide scrambles in the back of the ambulance with Brett handing him multiple IV bags.

“Hold the sodium bicarbonate,” she says while reaching for fresh gauze. He takes the bag from her, now holding a bag in each hand.

“Come on, Casey,” she says, and Kelly can hear the pain in her voice. She covers his lacerations with new bandages and tapes them on. When she’s finished, she looks up at Kelly, and she can’t keep it together anymore.

Severide watches the tears fall from her eyes as she grabs Casey’s hand, careful of the catheter. He wants to help her, but he has no idea what to say. If he opens his mouth, he fears he too would fall apart.

“Sylvie breathe, we’re one minute out!” Foster calls from the front.

Severide tightens his grip on the bags that are draining quickly.

“Pushing another dose of ketamine,” Brett says in between cries.

Severide looks to see what made Brett decide to add more painkillers to his dosage, and sees Casey’s eyes open and dart around. His newly freed left hand from Sylvie’s grasp, reaches for his abdomen. Kelly alerts Brett as he doesn’t have a free hand to stop him.

“Casey, stop,” Brett says, choking back tears. She carefully takes his hand and watches the pain in his face subside a little.

“I’m okay…” he coughs. “Don’t cry.” Casey smiles a little at her, as much as his body will let him, before he succumbs to unconsciousness again.

Within seconds, the back doors of the ambulance fly open with doctors and nurses appearing. Someone takes the IV bags away from Kelly and hangs them on the gurney as the nurses pull it through the doors. Brett follows them into the emergency room with Severide at their heels.

“Matthew Casey, thirty-eight year old male, firefighter caught in a structural collapse, fell three stories into debris, treated for Crush Syndrome in the abdomen. Hypothermic, defibrillated in the field for V-Fib,” she says, struggling with each word.

Severide watches as two familiar doctors move Casey into a bed. He doesn’t even bother to look at their faces. With his hands free, he wraps an arm around Sylvie’s shoulder, and she leans her head on him. They watch as they pump Casey full of fluids and vitamins to rebuild his crushed cells. Sylvie has watched this process many times unphased, but she felt possibly the opposite while watching her close friend being injected and stitched.

Dr. Ethan Choi barks orders and begins moving the bed into the hallway. Startled, Severide and Brett move back as Casey is wheeled by them.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Kelly shouts at the team as they move towards the elevator.

Dr. Will Halstead stops when he hears the voice of the fireman he knew would be close by Casey’s side.

“We’re taking him up to the OR, victims of Crush Syndrome need a lot of help. I promise we’re doing everything we can. I’ll keep you updated,” the redhead says and runs after Dr. Choi and the nurses, leaving Kelly and Sylvie to only imagine the possibilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter, it was one of my favorites to write!
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Oh, and I hope Will is welcomed with open arms to our story! ;)
> 
> Thank you so much! <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! :)
> 
> We get some extra drama in this chapter! I like this one because I like a little drama ;)
> 
> I really appreciate all the kind words and feedback I'm getting, it's really helping me keep wanting to write! So thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> Enjoy and have a wonderful day! <3

The members of Firehouse 51 take up most of the waiting room in the Emergency Department at Chicago Med. Cruz sits in the corner, unable to make any eye contact with his firehouse family. Brett, Foster, and Kidd sit close to one another, the two latter comforting a very shakem Brett. Severide stands against the wall, feeling weaker with every passing minute. His chief keeps a close eye on Kelly.

The first to notice the maroon scrubs of Dr. Halstead is Herrmann, who stands, alerting the rest of 51.

“How is he?” Kelly asks, stepping off the wall to face Will.

“There were some complications with the surgery-”

“Complications?” Severide takes a step closer.

“Kelly, let him finish,” Boden calmly says.

“While repairing his abdomen, we discovered some hepatic hemorrhaging, bleeding of the liver. It bled into his abdominal region and-”

Without letting the doctor finish, Kelly gets in his face.

“You said he was going to be okay!”

“I said, we are doing everything we-”

“You liar!” Kelly screams and swings his right hand at Halstead’s face. His knuckles connect with Will’s nose, causing a fuss among the other firefighters.

Boden grabs Kelly immediately, yelling at him to calm down. Maggie Lockwood comes into the waiting room and brings a disoriented Dr. Halstead back into the ED.

“Kelly, take a walk!” Boden firmly orders. Severide stares at Boden for a couple of seconds, then turns to go outside.

Within a few minutes, everyone’s adrenaline seems to have come down. After checking the damage done to Halstead’s nose, Boden finds Severide outside, leaning against a pillar.

“Kelly,” Boden says calmly.

Severide turns his head slightly, and Boden notices his eyes are wet again. Boden softens, and reaches to pull his lieutenant into a hug. Kelly, worn out from the stress of the day, collapses into Boden’s arms, shaking from his silent cries.

\---

Emily Foster makes her way through the ED in search of more information for her struggling partner. Reaching trauma bay four, she notices Will using a mirror to clean himself up, with the help of nurse Maggie.

“Hey, Maggie, Will,” Foster nods at the nurse and smiles when the doctor looks over.

“Hey, Foster. Sorry about Casey,” he says.

“Yeah. Sorry about your nose,” she says.

“I get it. Jay does the same thing,” Will laughs.

“Well, I hate to bother you, but could you maybe finish filling me in on Casey? My poor girl Brett’s a wreck, and I’m sure the rest of the firehouse could use some closure.”

“Yeah, of course,” the doctor says, and puts down the mirror and bandage. He stands and folds his hands in front of him. “Casey was hemorrhaging, so we need to complete another surgery to control that. In fact, he should be in surgery now. We’ve got his arrhythmia under control, and with continuous dosage of morphine and saline, as well as replenishing his broken cells, the Crush Syndrome shouldn’t become a long term issue. This is good news,” he says with a smile.

“Thank you, Will. Thank you so much,” she says and brings him in for a hug.

\---

Cruz keeps his head down when Severide makes his way back inside. He can’t bear to look at the pain he’s caused his lieutenant. Though only the man sitting next to him knows the full story, Cruz’s openly uncomfortable demeanor tells the rest of the firehouse something is up.

He knows the eyes of his family are on him. Wishing he was better at hiding his emotions, he looks to Mouch with a hopeless expression on his face. Mouch, who has a history of forgiving the man seated to his left, pats the back of his distraught comrade. Cruz buries his face in his hands and hides from the looks from his squadmates and fellow firefighters.

Emily Foster breaks the good news to the waiting room full of firefighters who had been holding their breath waiting for any word on the condition of their captain.

Foster sits next to her partner who moves from Stella’s shoulder to hers.

“It’s alright, Sylvie. Casey’s tough, he’ll pull through. He already fought his way through one surgery, another one is no problem,” Foster soothes. She wipes Brett’s tears with her sleeve and holds her friend while they wait out the rest of Casey’s surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked today's chapter, tomorrow's is really long so buckle up!
> 
> Feel free to tell me what you want added in the story, or what you predict is to come!
> 
> Thank you, until next time! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey's closest friends are trying to be there for each other, which proves difficult when they can't keep their own tears from falling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! :)
> 
> Long chapter today! We get lots of perspectives at a pivotal point in our story! And Casey's perspective is back! ;)
> 
> Thank you so much for your kind words! They make me so happy to read! <3
> 
> Anyway, happy reading and have a wonderful day!

Patched up, Dr. Halstead enters the waiting room of the ED and quickly finds the large group of distressed firefighters, as they hadn’t moved since Casey had arrived. Once again, the firefighters and paramedics rise at the sight of Casey’s physician.

A small smile spreads on the redhead’s face. “Casey is out of surgery and doing well. The hemorrhage was controlled, and he’s in post-op now. As with liver trauma patients, we want to move him to the ICU as soon as possible, which is good news for you all; once he’s situated in a room, we’ll allow visitors.”

“Thanks, Will,” Boden reaches around Severide to give Dr. Halstead his hand to shake.

Will takes his hand and with a firm shake and replies; “My pleasure. I’m just glad Casey’s making a turn for the better.” The doctor’s gaze lands on Kelly, who nods to him. Will returns the gesture and disappears into the ED.

\---

Feeling satisfied with the news on Casey, Severide is determined to take care of his other affected friend; Cruz.

Kelly makes his way to the corner of the waiting room, finding Cruz who had remained seated during Dr. Halstead’s visit. Curious as to what the condition of his firefighter is, he quietly says his name, looking for his attention.

The black beanie sitting on Cruz’s head slowly raises to show Severide his tear-filled eyes. Kelly knows this expression all too well.

“Come on,” he says, reaching his hand out in front of Cruz’s face for him to take. Hesitantly, the squad member takes his hand to pull himself up from his seat. Kelly releases his grip and leads Cruz out into the brisk November air.

“Cruz, Casey obviously wasn’t the only one hurt in that collapse,” Kelly begins. “There’s nothing wrong with your injuries being on the inside.”

“Listen, Lieutenant, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but you just don’t know the full story,” Cruz says.

“Then what is it?” Severide says, leaning his right shoulder on the pillar to face Cruz, who has his eyes glued to the passing cars. “Cruz?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he responds quickly.

“It seems like it does.”

“Well it doesn’t,” Cruz nearly yells and finally turns to face Severide. He stares at his lieutenant, making his message clear, then returns inside.

Frustrated and worn out, Kelly sighs and returns to the waiting room.

\---

Six hours after the arrival of Matt Casey at Chicago Med, most of 51’s firefighters have returned to the firehouse to gather their things or headed home to get some rest. Boden reassures his men he will keep them updated, and that he has taken the station out of service for the rest of the shift.

To no one’s surprise, Kelly and Sylvie insist on waiting for Casey to be ready for visitors. Joe Cruz refuses to move from his corner spot, causing a couple worried and confused looks on the faces of the exiting firefighters.

Kidd reminds the close friends of Casey’s to watch out for one another before running out after the rest of Truck 81. Kelly nods over Brett’s head, who he has in a tight hug. He never realized how much easier it was to keep it together when there was someone else to comfort.

Boden, Severide, Brett, and even Cruz this time, rise when Nurse Maggie comes looking for them forty-five minutes after the departure of the rest of 51.

“Casey’s set up in a room up in the ICU, if you’d like to see him,” she says. The four follow Maggie towards the elevator, with Cruz lagging behind.

“Maggie?” a voice calls from the middle of the ER. “Visiting hours are over. Why are you taking them up?”

“Dorris, these are VIP guests,” Maggie waves her hand at their turnout gear and soot covered faces. Dorris just rolls her eyes as the five make their way upstairs.

\---

Kelly is the first to see him. He doesn’t notice Boden’s hand resting on his shoulder as Maggie pulls the sliding door open. His eyes are glued on Casey’s pale and weak form when the nurse’s voice comes from his right.

“He’s still a little groggy, but I’m sure he’ll be happy to have some company. Don’t be long, I don’t want to get in trouble over this,” Maggie says. Kelly sees her slide the door closed behind them out of the corner of his eye.

He tries to speak, but the words won’t come out. He wants to go over to his bedside and hold his hand, tell him everything is going to be alright, that he is right there for him, but the words just won’t come out.

\---

Brett’s heart aches in her chest as she peeks around Severide’s shoulder to find Casey asleep; a catheter through one arm, another through his hand, a cannula through his nose, stitches on his forehead and right cheekbone, and wires snaking under his gown. She is grateful she can’t see under his sheets, as there is a chance he has another IV line somewhere else, and she’s not sure she could take the sight of any more tubes or machines.

Her eyes well up for the umpteenth time this day, which bugs her because she assumes she’s all out of tears to cry. Boden and Cruz wait behind Severide, so she assumes she must do the same. Kelly isn’t moving, which is only prolonging the time she has to wait to comfort her friend.

The three wait in silence, Sylvie silently urging Severide to go to him so she can get her time with Matt.

\---

Casey slowly awakes with the feeling that he’s going to throw up. Nothing better describes his discomfort than… foggy. That’s the word: foggy. His head feels like it’s stuck inside a thick cloud, his eyes watery and his throat scratchy.

He delicately opens his eyes so slightly, so that he can begin to make sense of his environment. Though he immediately regrets it.

“Easy, Case,” he hears. A bucket is in front of him as he spits up whatever’s left inside of him, which appears to be mucus and possibly saline. He coughs violently before closing his eyes again. His nausea subsides a little without the movement of the world beyond his eyelids.

“I’m sure between the anesthesia and your concussion, which I was not made aware of,” comments Brett, reading his chart, “you’re probably feeling quite nauseous.”

“Sylvie…?” Casey says, forcing his eyes open as she comes to his left.

“Hey, don’t forget about me, I’m the one that caught your vomit,” Severide smirks from his right.

“Hey, Sev,” Casey smiles, feeling a little refreshed by his sense of humor.

He turns as he feels Brett’s hand on his. “How are you feeling?” she asks.

He starts to formulate a response, but a wave of panic cuts him off. “Cruz? How’s Cruz?” he says frantically, and swings his head around to Kelly, causing another onslaught of dizziness.

Severide must have noticed more of a panic than Casey did, because he puts his hands on both of Matt’s shoulders and looks him in his half closed eyes.

“Casey, he’s okay, he’s right here,” he says. He lets go of Casey’s shoulders and leans back to reveal Boden and Cruz standing by the door.

“Hey, Casey, I’m alright,” Cruz says, taking a step closer, as his captain hadn’t noticed him before. Severide, knowing Cruz pretty well after working with him for quite some time, waits for him to add on, as he typically says more than a few words. But nothing follows. Casey notices Severide eyeing him suspiciously, but before he can say anything, Sylvie sits on the side of his bed.

She grabs his hand this time, but looks down when she can’t help the tears forming in her eyes.

“We’ll give you two a minute,” Boden says, ushering the two other men outside before sliding the door shut once more.

“Matt…” she starts, and wipes her tears away.

“Shhh it’s okay,” he says, turning his hand over to hold hers.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if…” her voice trails off.

“But you didn’t,” Casey says softly. His body aches, and it takes all his strength to reach his free hand across his body to wipe her tears off her face, but he does it anyway.

“Sylvie, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry anymore.” He smiles reassuringly. She sniffles a little and finally looks at him.

“Matt, I couldn’t live a day in this world without you,” she says. He smiles at her, butterflies in his stomach making him feel a good kind of queasiness this time.

Sylvie stands, and slowly lets go of his hand. “As much as I want to stay, I don’t want to get Maggie in trouble, and Chief’s making faces at me so I’d better go,” she laughs.

“Goodnight, Sylvie,” Casey says. “And thanks. For, you know, being here.” He mentally kicks himself for being awkward, but she thinks it’s cute.

“Of course, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” she smiles and carefully slides the door open.

Boden, Severide, and Cruz stand waiting for her.

“Rest up, Casey,” Boden says. “I better not see you at the firehouse tomorrow.” 

Casey smirks. “No promises, Chief. Goodnight.”

\---

Cruz begins to close the door before he notices Casey get a flash of panic across his face. His eyes go blank and his smile fades within a second. Cruz waits at the door, as the other three make their way down the hallway. They stop short and look back at him.

“You guys go, I’ll just be a minute,” he says. Skeptically, they continue towards the elevator.

Cruz waits for Casey’s face to show any kind of emotion other than fear, which takes about five seconds. He looks up from his sheets to find Cruz with his hand on the handle of the sliding door.

“Cruz,” Casey calls for him. “Come here a minute, will you?”

Cruz’s heart skips a beat. Does he remember? Is he mad? He hopes for a second he doesn’t remember, but immediately feels guilty for it. He deserves to be hated by his captain.

Slowly, he opens the door, holding his breath as he closes it behind him and waits at the foot of Casey’s bed, his stomach in knots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked today's chapter, and sorry for the cliff hanger!! (I had to end this chapter somewhere...)
> 
> Feel free to leave feedback, compliments, criticism, predictions, or just say hi! :D
> 
> Thanks for reading and see you tomorrow! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe falling three stories comes with a little falling apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! :)
> 
> Sorry this update took a little longer than the rest, I wanted to make sure this chapter is exactly how I imagined it.
> 
> Anyway, I hope it's worth the wait!
> 
> Enjoy, and have a wonderful day! <3

Cruz grips his right thumb in his left hand, nervously playing with it behind his back. He is atrocious at hiding emotions, and his captain quickly notices the fear in his face.

“It’s fine, Cruz, I… I just want to talk,” Casey says. It doesn’t make him any less terrified.

He waits as Casey, who is likely very out of sorts after the day he’s had, racks his brain for the right words. Cruz waits patiently, but on the inside he can’t wait much longer.

“Cruz,” Casey finally fills the silent room.

“Yeah, Casey?” Cruz says, trying to get the conversation to move faster. It takes the other man a serious amount of brainpower to piece a sentence together.

“I remember,” he says, and finally locks eyes with Cruz, who quickly looks at the tile on the floor.

“I’m so sorry,” he says as tears fill his eyes.

“Cruz-”

“Casey, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I have no idea why I did that,” he says, and his cries are no longer silent. He puts a hand over his face and wipes his eyes.

“Cruz it’s okay,” Casey starts.

“No. No it’s not!” he says, getting louder. He sinks into the chair in the corner of the room.

“I forgive you.”

“No… no no no,” he cries.

“I forgive you,” Casey says, weakly reaching his hand out for Cruz to come closer. He stares at the invitation to take the hand of the man he refused to grab when he was pleading for his life. Panicking in desperation for the help of someone who had just tried to cause him so much hurt.

Finally, Cruz moves to the right side of Casey, and sits on the bed. He feels the comforting hand of his captain on his shoulder, as his cries become sniffles. He reaches his hand across his body to rest it on top of Casey’s, and feels the IV line sticking out of the hand on his shoulder. He carefully rests his palm over the back of Matt’s hand, and silently reminds himself the catheter is his fault. Slowly his cries pick up again, and the two sit like that for quite some time.

Eventually, the post-anesthesia affected Casey finds being awake too much on his struggling body. Cruz holds his hand on his shoulder as his captain slowly drifts away into a deep sleep.

\---

Brett wakes up to the bright sun shining through the front windows of… wait, where was she? She picks her head up to find Kelly in a blue chair across from her. Turning around, she sees the busy driveway of the emergency department at Chicago Med. Ambulances fill her view and for a brief moment she has a slight panic that she was missing her shift. Blinking a few times, her brain works to process what is going on.

“Morning,” Severide lets a small smile spread across his face.

Brett stares at him while she remembers the chaotic day she had yesterday. “Good morning,” she finally replies. “Where’s Cruz and Chief?”

“Chief took Cruz home, he demanded he get some sleep after coming back out of Casey’s room with tears rolling down his face,” Kelly says. “You insisted on being there for Casey when he woke up before passing out on that chair,” he laughs.

“Oh,” she blushes. “Well, can we see him now?”

“Yeah, you go ahead. I went up early this morning but he wasn’t awake yet. You can go up and have some time with him, I’ll bring up some coffee.”

“Really? Thanks so much, Kelly,” she says and stands, brushing out her wrinkled jacket with her hands.

“No problem, I’ll be right up.”

\---

Sylvie knocks quietly on the sliding door before carefully pulling it open. As she shuts it behind her, she looks up at the clock that reads eight-thirty. Her eyes find Casey’s closed ones, which distresses her a little, as it is out of the ordinary for him to get up much later than six-thirty. She would often find him awake in his office on days they were at the firehouse, much earlier than sunrise.

She slowly goes over to the chair in the corner and, as quietly as she can, pulls it close to his bedside. Subconsciously, she finds herself running her finger down his IV line on the side closest to her, and at the end of the tube is his right hand. She gently puts her hand over the catheter and his cold fingers.. His eyelids peel open to reveal his ocean blue eyes, glossy after a full night of being woken up by a nurse every few hours, so not to let his concussion cause any more problems.

“Hey, Matt,” she soothes. Her face lights up when he recognizes her.

“Good morning… Sunshine,” he smiles.

Her heart melts when she hears what he called her. Sunshine. She’s his sunshine.

“You’re still here,” he slowly says.

“Of course I am,” she says and rubs his hand with her thumb.

“You should go home,” he says, still half asleep.

“What? No, I won’t leave your side,” she says. Casey looks away for a moment, and looks back with tears in his eyes.

Brett can’t remember the last time she’d ever seen him cry. Casey was a relatively introverted person, who barely showed much emotion at all, let alone sadness. She figures it had to do with his father, maybe the way he was raised, though even that is a topic she knows little about. As close as Casey is to anyone at the firehouse, his family is not a subject to be discussed, a rule that at this point goes without saying among the members of 51. So she really isn’t too sure on why he is generally so reserved, and more importantly why he isn’t right now.

“Oh, Matt, what’s wrong?” she asks, moving from the chair to the side of his bed. His gaze drops to his sheets, humiliated by his vulnerability.

“It’s okay,” she says, scooting over to sit in the bed beside him. His cries are silent, and he wipes the tears away before she even has the chance.

“It’s okay to be sad, Matt,” she says, rubbing a hand on his back. “It’s totally normal to be overwhelmed, tired, in pain, angry, or any other feelings you’re having, okay?” she says, attempting to meet his eyes.

Feeling completely defeated, he lays his head on her shoulder like she did just a short time ago. He lets her comfort him as he is drained of his energy to stay awake once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked today's chapter! Let me know what you think! :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Until next time! <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can't handle the guilt anymore. It's crushing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! :)
> 
> I'm not overly happy with this chapter but it took me forever to get to a postable point, so here it is!
> 
> I hope you like it more than I do ;)
> 
> Happy reading and have a wonderful day!

Kelly heads down the hall to Casey’s room, a coffee in each hand. When he turns and puts the cup in his right hand in between his arm and his chest, he sees Sylvie with Matt asleep on her shoulder. He can tell his brother’s been crying, and Sylvie too. The poor empathetic girl couldn’t help it.

He turns back around and finds the charge nurse of the ICU floor.

“Hey, could you give this to the girl in there when she comes out?” he says, and hands her the cup.

“You mean Brett? Everyone knows Brett, Severide,” she says, and takes the coffee from him.

“Oh, you know me too…” he smiles, a little embarrassed since he can’t seem to remember her name.

She nods and laughs at his humiliation. Kelly takes one last look at his vulnerable friend and heads back to the waiting room.

\---

Casey wakes up to an empty room, and reaches to rub his eyes clear. The IV lines tug at his arms as he pulls them to his face. Annoyed, he drops his weak limbs and looks skyward. He sighs, then looks at the wall to his right. Ten forty-five. His hospital stay could not be going any slower.

Feeling truly awake for the first time since before the collapse, he replays yesterday’s events in his mind. He frowns, realizing half of it was taken over by sleep.

His brain leads him into this morning’s memories. Sylvie. Oh god… he called her sunshine. He drops his chin and runs his catheter-free hand through his hair. What has he done? He can’t be saying those things to her! She’s just a friend. She’s just a friend… 

\---

Meanwhile Sylvie is feeling the same, at least she thinks.

“And then, he called me Sunshine!” she squeals to Kidd, who arrived about a half an hour ago.

“Brett, after this morning, there’s just no reason to deny it. You wouldn’t be telling me this if you weren’t lovestruck,” Stella says.

“Well, I don’t know how to feel about it, actually,” she says, retreating into her seat.

“Mmhm. Tell me that after he calls you angel or whatever.”

“Stella,” Sylvie says, slightly embarrassed, “He’s not going to call me angel, really. We’re just friends.”

“Alright,” Stella responds, and gets up to talk with Severide.

Without the pressuring voices of her friends, Brett takes a moment to label what she thinks her feelings are. But, what are they, really? She knows she likes him, a lot more than as a friend. There was no way she was going to tell him that, though. Not after Gabby. Giving them a label proves too difficult, and at the end of the day, decidedly unnecessary. So she goes back to sipping her slightly cold coffee, sitting in the same chair she curled up in the previous night.

\---

Cruz arrives at the hospital, in some clean clothes and well rested, at about noon. Although Casey had forgiven him, he is struggling to forgive himself. The weight of the true story is crushing him. He needs it off.

He walks through the automatic doors to the emergency department’s waiting room and finds Severide, Kidd, Brett, Boden, Herrmann, and Cindy taking up the left corner of the space, just like last night. Cindy hands her husband a bag of what Cruz suspects to be gifts for Casey, and she starts to leave.

She notices Cruz standing by the door, gives him a quick hug, and heads back to her car. He looks up from the floor and heads to the three men and two women waiting to see their captain again.

“Cruz,” Herrmann says enthusiastically and pats him on the back, hard.

“Hey, Cruz,” his family welcomes him to their part-time home, it seems like.

“Hey guys,” Cruz says, with his gaze locked on the floor. He feels the silence of them waiting for him to speak.

He slowly looks up, and sees their eyes on him. They’re concerned, not angry. Not yet at least.

“Can I talk to you guys about something?” he says, looking around nervously. He memorizes what each of their faces look like, expecting that soon all he’ll see is angered expressions.

“Of course,” Boden replies, and leads the five others into the private on call room in the ED, stopping to ask permission from Maggie.

The six file into the room, and Boden gently shuts the door. Cruz waits for everyone to stop shuffling around, and readies himself to lose five people he loves.

He has an especially hard time starting to speak while looking at his friend Brett, and his lieutenant Severide, knowing not only are they the closest to Casey, but the closest to him as well. He looks down and takes a deep breath.

“It’s only fair that you all know how this happened,” he starts, and begins to tear up.

“It’s alright, bud, take your time,” Herrmann says, reassuringly.

“Casey came upstairs…” he pauses. “I had reached the top and found a little boy, dead. Casey told me we had to go… I couldn’t take my eyes off this kid. He tried to comfort me, but…” tears were falling from his eyes now.

“But what, Cruz?” Boden says calmly.

“I didn’t want anyone near me. I lost my mind. I couldn’t see anything, I promise. I never meant for this to happen.”

“What… what did you do, Cruz?” Brett says, tears welling up in her eyes too now.

“I-I... “ he stammers, “I… shoved him off my shoulder. I put my hands on his chest and pushed as hard as I could. I put all my anger into that push, and I sent him backwards down the stairs. I couldn’t see them, I promise!”

He looks at Brett, who has tears sliding down her cheeks, and so much hurt in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he cries.

Sylvie hurries to the glass door and throws it open. She runs out of the room, letting the door slam behind her. Stella quietly heads out behind her.

Cruz melts to the ground in a heap of tears and sobs. Boden and Herrmann kneel down and comfort him, but Kelly remains against the back wall, frozen. His bright blue eyes look ghostly to Cruz, who looks up to see the reaction of someone who means so much to him. Severide locks eyes with Cruz. The only emotion he expresses is complete horror. He is beyond shocked, and quickly looks away from Joe, who’s falling apart on the floor of the on call room.

\---

Brett escapes the gut-wrenching conversation by running through the doors to the street. She doesn’t know where she’s going. She just needs to get away.

She hears the voice of Stella behind her, calling for her to stop. She won’t turn back, afraid that she can’t handle ceasing to run as far away from Cruz as possible.

She reaches an intersection, cars whipping by on the busy city street. She ponders what is worse; going back to face such a monster, or just escaping everything. She stops. Horrified by her indecisiveness over her own life, she turns around to face Stella. She’s crying uncontrollably, looking to her friend for help. Stella stops in front of her, and pulls her close.

“It’s okay, Sylvie,” she says, rubbing her back in calming circles, while defending against judgemental looks from bystanders. “Just let it out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! <3
> 
> The next chapter should be coming out sooner than the last few, (sorry!).
> 
> See you soon! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love heals like no other medicine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! I'm excited to bring you this chapter, it made me very happy to write! (You'll see... ;) )
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> Happy reading and have a wonderful day! <3

Casey awaits any social contact with anyone other than a nurse for a few long hours. With nothing to occupy him but a blank television, which, by the way, the nurses took the remote from the concussed firefighter, he is out of his mind bored.

A rough headache begins to come on and Casey drops his head in his hands. He squeezes his eyes shut and moans a little. The button to call a nurse is only inches away, but far from his mind. He decides he doesn’t like the attention.

Speaking of attention, in comes Severide, quickly throwing the sliding door open. Without analyzing the situation, Kelly yells into the quiet room.

“Cruz did this to you? And you didn’t tell anybody?” he shouts.

“Kel…” Casey mumbles, reaching for his ears.

“Case, how could you keep this from me?”

“Kelly, please,” he says softly.

The hot-headed lieutenant wasn’t even looking at his brother, as he steamed, pacing around the room.

Casey didn’t think it could get any worse, but his protective friend seems to be getting louder.

“He pushed you down three stories! You easily could’ve died if any tiny thing went differently!”

His head throbs and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. The pain is causing him to tear up, as the helpless Casey bites down hard, clenching his jaw.

“Don’t you get that?” Kelly shouts, and finally looks at Casey. “Oh God, Casey what’s wrong?” he says, and quickly goes to his side.

“Your head?” Severide asks, slightly panicking. “Nurse!” He frantically looks back to the lobby of the ICU floor. He quickly gets up and pulls the blinds shut, then turns off the lights and returns to his suffering friend.

A nurse quickly slides the door open and grabs a syringe. Kelly watches as she pushes the mystery medication through the IV line and into Casey’s left arm. He looks back to see his pained face slowly relax. Casey’s eyelids fall shut, and Kelly looks back to the nurse.

“He didn’t sleep much last night, so I figured I’d give him a little extra to get some rest,” she says.

Kelly nods and reaches for Casey’s hand. The nurse waits, as he looks like he wants to say something. “Did I do this?” he asks, keeping his eyes on Casey’s unconscious form.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” she smiles reassuringly. When he looks over at her, unconvinced, she continues; “Headaches are common with concussions, stress, or as a reaction to many things. You didn’t cause it, that’s for sure. But next time he’s experiencing something like this, try to keep the volume to a minimum.” She gently touches his shoulder sympathetically, and leaves the two firefighters alone.

Severide gazes sadly at Casey. He swallows hard, choking back tears. “I’m sorry, bud,” he whispers. Kelly sighs, and lays his head uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. Mentally exhausted, he follows Casey into dreamland.

\---

Cruz sits on the floor of the on-call room of the ED with Herrmann and Boden by his side. The two relationships he cared most about were destroyed, and it was all his fault.

“Joe, you weren’t in a good state of mind that day, I could tell from the minute you came into the firehouse that morning. I should’ve said something,” Herrmann says, trying to meet his eyes.

“Don’t try to put this on yourself,” Cruz says, holding back the rest of his tears.

“Cruz,” Boden begins, “thank you for being honest. I listened as a friend, but now that I have this information, I have to be your chief. I need to get you some help, okay?”

“What?” Cruz says, finally looking up from his hands. “No, I’m not the one that needs help. I don’t deserve it!”

“Hey, buddy, lower your voice,” Herrmann says calmly.

“Joe, you may not be bleeding, but we all know that you’re hurting inside. This isn’t like you,” Boden says.

Cruz looks down again, the tears escaping his eyes once again.

“At least talk to Dr. Charles, please,” Boden says.

“Okay,” he nods.

\---

Brett rushes through the waiting room and through the ED to the elevator as Cruz watches her hurry past him. She has no intention of hearing his voice.

She enters the empty elevator and sees Cruz making his way down the hallway. She quickly reaches over and presses the button to close the doors in his face.

She swallows a cry as being anything but kind is extremely difficult for the paramedic. She just can’t handle being around him right now.

She quietly makes her way through the ICU to Casey’s room, and finds the door shut like usual.

As she begins to slip through the door she hears his voice; “Back so soon?” he smiles.

When she turns to face him, she can’t help but let a smile spread across her face. “Hey,” she says, and closes the sliding door. She goes to sit in the chair next to him and his expression abruptly changes.

“Is everything okay?” He sits up with a little discomfort. He studies her face and then realizes what is likely causing her uncommonly sad mood. “Cruz told you guys, didn’t he?”

She looks down and nods. “How’d you guess?”

“Severide came in here earlier and blew up over it,” he laughs.

“I guess we feel the same way then.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“How could he do that to you?” Her gaze meets his.

“Sylvie, I don’t blame him at all,” he smiles sadly.

“Matt, how can you not blame him? He nearly killed you!” she cries.

He reaches for her hand, and she slowly gives it to him. “He’s struggling, Sylvie. There’s more to it than it seems.”

She sits in that thought for a bit, staring at her hand in his. When Casey notices where her eyes are drawn to, he quickly pulls his hand away. “Sorry,” he says and blushes.

Sylvie is snapped out of her daze and looks up at him. He’s smiling sheepishly and it makes her stomach turn. She loves the way he smiles when he’s embarrassed.

She slowly stands from the seat and reaches her hand to his face. His smile fades curiously, and he looks into her eyes, which are inches from his. She closes her eyes and lets her lips find his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter as much as I did! I can't wait to share with you all what comes next!
> 
> Thanks for reading! See you soon! :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie is beginning to realize just how hard this situation is, and is going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> School happened. YIKES.
> 
> Anyway. I am SO sorry for dropping off the grid. I can't believe how busy I was! (And still kind of am :( )
> 
> But! Here's the looooong awaited chapter ten. I'm writing whenever I can, but I want this work to be the best it can be, so I'm taking some time to edit as well. Therefore, these chapters will be a lot less frequent :(
> 
> Thank you for being so patient, and happy reading!

Casey opens his eyes as he feels Brett pull away. She blushes, and gives him a small smile. He notices she’s not very good at playing seductive, and her smile widens when he smiles back. She laughs childishly, which makes him smile bigger. He loves how she laughs when she’s nervous.

They stare into each other's smiling faces for a while, before Sylvie looks away. “I should go.”

“Oh, but you won’t believe how bored I am,” Casey whines, making her laugh a little.

“Alright, fine,” she says. “At least let me get something from the cafeteria first?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” he says, waving his hand signaling for her to go. The IV line tugs at his skin and he pulls his hand back in annoyance. Though at this point, he is really good at hiding his emotions, and thankfully Brett doesn’t notice.

“Want anything?” she asks, halfway through the sliding door.

“I wish. They still have me on tube food for a little longer. Though a burger and a milkshake sounds good right about now,” he smirks.

“Let me see if I can get them to blend it up and send it through a line,” she jokes.

“On second thought, I’m alright,” he says.

She laughs and slides the door closed with a little wave, before heading to get some well-deserved food.

\---

Brett heads down the hallway and reaches the busy cafeteria of Chicago Med. White coats and different colored nurses scrubs bustle around the tables. She gets in line and looks over the menu before she hears her name from over her shoulder.

“Hey Foster,” she says as she turns around.

“Hey, so I heard about the Cruz thing, no wonder he looks so upset lately,” Foster says.

“Yeah, I’d rather not talk about it,” Brett says and turns back around to continue reading the menu.

“Brett,” Foster comes around to see her face. “You can’t keep avoiding him, aren’t you going to talk to him?”

“Foster, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I think I have this figured out.”

“Sylvie,” Foster pauses. She opens her mouth to speak again, before sighing and turning to leave.

Brett exhales slowly, attempting to shove all the stress out with the hot air. She looks up at the menu and keeps reading.

\---

Sylvie passes Kelly on her way into Casey’s room with a sandwich in one hand and a drink in the other. He nods to her with a sad smile.

“How is he?” she asks.

“Relax, you left him for ten minutes. He’s doing fine.”

“Okay, but you looked upset, so I figured I’d ask,” she frowns.

“Just went to apologize for causing his head to explode earlier,” Kelly laughs.

“Oh,” she smiles. Wait what? What did Severide do to Matt? Before she gets the chance to drill him, he gives a little wave and slips by her, leaving the sliding door slightly open.

Sylvie shakes her head, then pulls the door open with her foot.

“Hey,” she smiles.

“Hey.” Casey’s voice comes out surprisingly quiet. “Did you get me a burger?”

“No,” she laughs, “sadly they didn’t have burger flavored smoothies.”

“Bummer…” his eyelids droop slightly, and it looks like he’s having a hard time keeping them open.

“Hey hey, you can’t go to sleep yet, we haven’t had lunch yet,” she says, and gently touches his right arm.

“Mmm…” he mumbles. She watches his eyes flutter a couple times, before they’re almost fully open. She gives him a smile of encouragement once he looks her way.  
When he doesn’t return the gesture, she’s admittedly a little disheartened. He was so awake just fifteen minutes ago.

Sylvie looks to him immediately when she hears his hoarse voice. “I’m so…” he pauses and looks down at the white sheets, as if he was trying to remember what he was going to say. “I’m so tired of being so tired.” he whispers.

Her heart breaks a little and she puts her sandwich down. She moves to sit on the edge of his bed.

“It’s okay, not even twenty-four hours ago you fell three stories through a burning building. Matt, you just have to have some patience with yourself. You’ll get through this, and we’re here every step of the way.”

“It hurts… all the time,” he whispers. He quickly looks away, and she knows he regrets being that open to her.

“I know,” she says. She reaches for his hand, but he won’t give it to her. She tries not to let it bother her; she knows he hates to show emotion. Honestly, she’s thankful he’s been more open than usual, although she knows it’s not really his choice; the anesthesia and trauma causing unwanted emotions to bubble up.

Sylvie lets him hold back whatever emotions he can with knots in her stomach, wishing he wasn’t as closed-off. She knows from watching Cruz over the last twenty-four hours that it only hurts more to keep it in. But she knows he’s stubborn, and this “dealing with it on my own” state of mind isn’t going to just disappear completely, even under the influence of painkillers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! I promise I won't disappear again, (the least I can do is write a little note!)
> 
> It might be a bit before elven comes out, but a bit being under a week, I promise not like last time!
> 
> Thanks for stopping by after all this time, and have a wonderful day! <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! :)
> 
> Back with chapter eleven after yet another long wait. I give up on estimating how long these will take :(
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm looking to make a few changes soon so suggestions are welcome!
> 
> Also, I'm reaching the tail end of this story, so any ideas for new ones would be awesome! Thank you, and happy reading!

Severide eyes Cruz as he returns from his first session with Dr. Charles the following day. Kelly had nearly laughed when his chief recommended visiting the psychiatrist himself, as he is even more stubborn than Casey when it comes to taking care of himself.

Cruz was notably peppier than he had been the past two days, and it bugged Kelly. He is frustrated that Joe could have a smile on his face while his selfless, altruistic brother that is Matt Casey is being kept alive by machines.

Severide scoffs under his breath and heads back towards the elevator as he sees a blonde head peeking around taller bodies, making her way through the bustling ED.

Brett smiles as they pass, and Kelly takes a couple steps before stopping and turning quickly so she doesn’t get out of earshot.

“Hey Brett,” he calls.

“Yeah?” she turns and gives him a tired smile.

“Why don’t you head home? You’ve been here since minute one. I’ll watch over Casey and make sure these doctors know what they’re doing,” he says jokingly, but not really.

She laughs. “Kelly, you’ve been here as long as I have. What makes you think I’m going to leave before you?”

He looks around, mind racing with stressful interruptions that he can’t seem to get out of his head. He blinks a couple of times, suddenly feeling quite sad. Brett quickly notices and takes a few steps closer.

“Hey, you okay?” she asks, and gently puts a hand on his upper arm. He flinches a little, startled.

Kelly nods, but won’t look at her eyes.

“Why don’t we talk for a bit before you head up to see Casey?” she offers. He doesn't have a response for her, so after waiting a few seconds, she leads him outside.

\---

Cruz heads into the waiting room once again, finding Herrmann and Boden getting ready to move.

“Where are you guys going? And where’s Kidd?” he asks.

“She went home,” Boden replies.

“We’re off to see Casey before we go, I still haven’t seen him,” Herrmann says.

“Oh, can I come with?” Cruz offers.

The two men nod and Herrmann reaches up to put an arm around Joe, which he thinks is quite funny. Herrmann is just happy to see Cruz happy, even if jokes about his height are the exchange for a smile.

\---

Casey peels his eyes open to find three men waiting outside his door. They seem to be quietly discussing something, and looking over at him. He rolls his eyes.

“You guys don’t have to treat me like I’m five,” he calls to them, straining a little to get a louder sound out. He obviously surprised them, and they shuffle into his room awkwardly.

Herrmann can’t help but stare at this unfamiliar look of his captain. He doesn’t like how fragile he appears. That doesn’t stop Casey from joking around with his refreshing company, however.

“What’s with all the visitors? Yesterday I was bored out of my mind, and now I can’t catch a break,” he smirks.

“You’re too entertaining, Casey,” Boden says, and puts a hand on Herrmann, who looks away from all the wires to meet Casey’s eyes.

“You look good, compared to Thursday,” he says.

“Thanks, Herrmann,” Casey replies, visibly unconvinced.

The four chat, Boden and Herrmann getting some insight into the current status of Cruz and Casey’s relationship, which Casey seems to think is relatively unchanged. While the firefighters talk, a nurse comes by and sends medication through Casey’s line, which appears to be making him quite nauseous.

Cruz looks down at his shoes when Herrmann puts a bucket in front of their captain, guilt flushing through his face, making it noticeably hotter in the hospital room. Severide and Brett appear behind Boden and Cruz in the doorway, to find Casey spitting into a pink bucket. Boden shoos them away, trying to let Casey keep some of his dignity. Dr. Will Halstead quickly greets Boden as he enters Casey’s recovery room.

The doctor takes the bucket from Herrmann and rests a reassuring hand on Casey’s back. The distressed firefighter doesn’t hear when Dr. Halstead offers for Casey’s comrades to leave the room, noting that this is a difficult scene to watch.

Casey breathes heavily when it seems as though he’s finished. Will looks at him, slightly discouraged. He knows he was being hopeful, but he wanted to get Casey discharged as soon as possible. He may have to wait just a bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D
> 
> Once again, any suggestions for this story or new story ideas are very very appreciated!
> 
> Have a wonderful day! <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severide isn't excited about his return to work and Casey wants nothing more than to take his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo! :)
> 
> Chapter twelve has arrived! You all are so sweet with your comments and thank you for all the suggestions! <3
> 
> More suggestions are appreciated heheh ;)
> 
> Anyway, thanks for sticking with me for this long! I hope you like it and happy reading!!

The days passed similarly to the first few. Casey and Maggie collectively convinced Severide and Brett to go home and clean up after a few days. Severide had taken a week to watch over Casey’s dull hospital stay, but Brett had returned to work, only taking one shift more than the rest of the firehouse.

Casey became increasingly impatient as the days went by. The nausea and pain was constant, with nothing to do but think to himself, as his head hurt too much if he focused on one thing for too long. It’s safe to say he’s miserable.

“Hey, Casey, how’re you doing?” Dr. Halstead asks while sliding open his door.

“I’m good… fine,” he lies.

“That’s good to hear,” he says. “Headache subsiding yet?”

“Uh, yeah, just ready to get out of here soon, or at least this bed for the first time in... “ Will waits for him to piece it together on his own. He notices his face getting pink with humiliation.

“One and a half weeks,” he helps Casey process.

“Yeah, sorry,” he sighs.

“Well, if you keep lying to me, that won’t be happening anytime soon.” Casey looks up, surprised that he was caught faking his “healthy” condition.

“Listen, I really want to discharge you, Matt, but I can’t do that if you aren’t being honest.”

“I know. I’m just going crazy, Will,” he says and sighs.

“I get it. You just can’t push your recovery, or you’ll extend your stay, alright?”

“Yeah. I got it.”

“Okay. Rest up, seriously,” Dr. Halstead gives him a small smile before exiting those same four walls he’s been confined to for eleven long and painful days.

\---

Severide walks into the unfamiliar firehouse after being away for a week. His squadmates don’t say much, as they're outwardly underwhelmed with his return, though definitely happy to have him back. Capp makes a stupid joke that Severide knows isn’t funny, but he’s relieved to have a little normalcy back, so he gives him a smirk. The strap of his bag is digging into the skin of his shoulder as he pushes through the metal doors. The more energized members of Truck and Engine welcome him with a cup of coffee and loud noises. Stella hands him the warm mug and wraps her arm around his shoulder as they walk to his office together.

“How’s Casey doing?” she asks as Severide pulls the door open for her with his free hand.

“He’s alright. Itching to get out of there, but he seems okay,” he says and places the blue mug down on his desk. Stella sits on the frame of his bed and looks at him, her eyes pulling for his attention.

“And what about you?” she asks.

He looks at her for a moment. “What do you mean ‘what about you’? I didn’t fall through three flights of stairs.” His eyebrows furrow with a twinge of frustration.

“Don’t get mad at me, Kelly. I know you’re not frustrated with me,” she says.

He sighs, knowing she’s right. He puts his bag down and sits on the back of his metal chair, with his feet planted on the floor. “I’m fine, Stella.”

“Okay,” she says, assuming he’s not. “I trust you.” He looks down, hearing the disbelief in her tone as she gingerly pulls the door shut on her way out.

\---

Severide spends the slow first hour of his shift back in his office, having to refocus his drifting eyes every other minute. Becoming increasingly frustrated, he puts his pen down and turns to get up. Instead, he hears a knock on his closed office door. His annoyance intensifies when he sees Cruz on the other side of the glass. Sighing, he signals for him to come in.

“Hey, Lieutenant, you got a minute?” Cruz says, pulling the door shut behind him.

“Yeah, what do you need?” Severide looks up at him.

“I just wanted to make sure there’s no hard feelings, because, you know, we have to have each other’s backs.”

Kelly runs a hand through his hair. “Cruz, of course I have your back. What makes you think-“

“Yeah, no, got it. Of course, I shouldn’t have questioned that,” Cruz says, seemingly wanting to escape this conversation as much as Severide does.

“Yeah.” Severide returns his gaze to Cruz from the tile, digging a sharp look into his man with a bit of disgust attached.

Cruz nods, feeling awfully uncomfortable, and quickly exits the small office which was suffocating them both.

Kelly groans, noting that this will be a long shift without his cigar buddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think or what you want to see next! :D
> 
> See you soon for lucky number 13! Have a wonderful day!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Casey spend some time helping Casey recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :D
> 
> Chapter thirteen is done, and I'm slowly putting the rest of the story together!
> 
> I'll keep the notes short today, thank you for reading! :)

Brett gives Foster one look that her partner quickly reads as “I’m going to see Casey'' after they drop off their second cardiac patient of the afternoon. Foster waves her hand, playfully shooing Brett towards the elevator. Sylvie is thankful she’s with someone who understands her so well.

She speed-walks through the ICU, smiling at every familiar nurse and physician she passes, which turns out to be most of them after the amount of times she’s visited the fallen firefighter.

She peeks inside Casey’s room to make sure he isn’t sleeping, which fortunately he’s been doing a lot less of lately. Her heart jumps into her throat when she finds empty white sheets and a free chair in the corner. Brett quickly scans the rest of his room, then sighs in relief, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead against the glass. He’s standing, clinging to his IV pole, but he’s there, and that releases pressure throughout her entire body.

“Casey, what are you doing up?” she says, trying to mask her shaky voice while she calms herself down, entering the room.

“Hey, Brett,” he smiles, looking up from his black socks that were shuffling around the tile in a three inch radius.

“You’re not supposed to be up,” she says, making her way over to her unstable friend. He allows her to put her arm around his lower back to keep him steady, and rest her other hand on his forearm. He finds her more sturdy than the wheeled IV pole, so to her surprise, he grabs her arm with his right hand, a hand that is now missing an IV line. Sylvie smiles at his band-aid covering where the needle was.

They pick up some speed and Brett eyes him suspiciously. “Don’t tell Will,” he smiles like a kid playing a prank on their teacher.

“Oh, Matt,” she laughs, and watches him gently push the IV pole towards the door. “Where are we going?” she asks, more curious than accusatory.

“Not sure,” he says, taking bigger steps.

“Careful.”

“I know.”

“Seriously.”

“I know,” he says, remaining calm with her.

They make their way out of the cramped room, with Brett making extra sure that Casey was firmly clinging to his pole before letting him go to pull the sliding door open. Thankfully it was a slow afternoon in the ICU, and there was no sign of Dr. Halstead to scold him and his enabler.

Once they are alone in a skinny hallway, Casey stops suddenly.

“What? What’s wrong?” Brett asks, looking up at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the firehouse?” he asks.

“Jeez, I thought it was something important,” she sighs as they slowly start walking again.

“This is important.”

“I am, yes.”

“Well then what’re you doing here?” he says, taking a moment to look up from the ground at her, and immediately loses his balance.

“Woah!” Sylvie tightens her hand around his back and reaches in front of him to hold his chest with her other hand. “Casey, are you okay?”

He looks up at her, now slightly bent over, a bit frightened by himself.

“You’re okay, I got you,” she says, keeping eye-contact as best she can.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he says and slowly stands up straight.

“See, if I was at the firehouse…” Casey laughs and keeps his eyes glued to the inches right in front of him as the two decide it’s best to turn around.

They reach Casey’s room and find Foster sitting in the chair in the corner.

“Brett, where were you guys? I radioed you like three times,” she stands.

“Shoot, I must’ve turned it off. Sorry.” Brett offers a hand for Casey to use to climb back into his terribly uncomfortable bed, but he doesn’t take it. She puzzledly watches him retract his trust from her, all the while seeming happy to be around her. She continues to analyze his behavior and suddenly it hits her. Yet again, this was likely correlating to his past. She isn’t sure whether this reasoning applies to all the situations she attaches it to, but it makes her feel inculpable, so she tells it to herself often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks for reading! Working on chapter fourteen as we speak ;)
> 
> Have a great day and see you next time!


End file.
